I love the quote by Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Emotions are like waves. Watch them come and go, without getting caught in the undertow.” This idea encourages us to acknowledge emotions rather than suppress them.
Rather than simply welcoming our temporary visitors, we often buy into a common myth: When stress hits, we should just “power through” by focusing harder on our goals.” In other words, power through means don’t acknowledge.
This myth is deeply embedded in workplace culture, often appearing as motivational phrases like “push through the pain” or “keep your eye on the prize.” These phrases suggest that the best response to stress is to double down on willpower, ignoring emotional reactions in favor of narrowly focusing on objectives.
Why pushing through the pain is misleading:
- It ignores the biology of stress. Stress triggers physiological responses that can impair cognitive function, particularly the executive functions needed for goal-focused work. Trying to “power through” often leads to diminishing returns.
- It treats emotions as obstacles rather than information. Stress-induced emotions like frustration, anxiety, or being overwhelmed often contain valuable signals about workload, resources, or alignment. Dismissing these signals costs us important feedback.
- It leads to burnout cycles. Consistently overriding stress responses without addressing their causes creates a destructive pattern where work becomes associated with suffering rather than fulfillment.
A more effective approach:
Rather than powering through, research suggests we maintain resilience during stress by creating space to process emotions, adjusting expectations when necessary, and reconnecting with deeper values. This might mean taking short breaks, practicing mindfulness techniques, or having honest conversations with colleagues about challenges.
My favorite short definition of resilience comes to mind: the ability to recognize what’s coming up in us and to be with it (so it doesn’t get stuck). A longer favorite goes like this: Resilience is the ability to be fully present with life’s challenges—emotions, stress, and uncertainty—without being overtaken by reactivity or shutting down. It is the capacity to stay open, aware, and engaged, allowing experiences to move through you while maintaining inner steadiness and responding with wisdom rather than impulse.
Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices work because they reconnect us with the present moment through physical awareness. When stress narrows our focus to threats and problems, deliberate attention to breath, sensations, or surroundings counteracts this tunnel vision, allowing us to reconnect with our broader motivations.
Candid interactions: Honest conversations about challenges don’t undermine commitment—they reinforce it. Brené Brown captures the importance of candid interactions in this quote: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind. Staying silent about hard things serves no one.” When team members can acknowledge stress without judgment, it creates psychological safety that allows meaningful work to become truly collective rather than individually shouldered. These conversations transform stress from a private burden to a shared experience that deepens commitment to common goals.
Resilience doesn’t thrive despite our emotional responses to stress but when we integrate those responses into how we approach our work. Stress and meaningful work aren’t opposing forces. When one increases, the other doesn’t have to decrease. Meaningful work can cause us to feel more resilience under stress, and some stress can heighten our commitment to what matters when we know what’s at stake.
That said, the myth that we can power through stress by sheer force of will isn’t just incorrect—it’s counterproductive. True resilience doesn’t come from ignoring our emotional responses, but from acknowledging them as essential navigation tools, or visitors as Moo-Young calls them, on the path to meaningful work.
