Safe Ways to Test Your Discomfort
One of my favorite leaders that I’m working with right now, a president of a very large division, shared something with me years ago that stuck. He said he strives to feel uncomfortable every single day. Why? Because he doesn’t want to get too complacent. He’s made it a practice to sit in discomfort until it feels natural—until being uncomfortable becomes the new normal.
Here are twelve ways to challenge yourself to experience discomfort while maintaining psychological safety:
- Stretch; Don’t Snap
Take on a project that pushes you just beyond your current skill set but aligns with your strengths. Start small, and break the goal into manageable steps to avoid overwhelm. Celebrate progress along the way. - Embrace Feedback
Ask a trusted mentor, colleague, or coach for constructive feedback on areas where you can grow. Listen without defensiveness, sit afterward with the feedback, and reflect on how you feel without reaction, planning, or defending. Just SIT. Notice. Feel. - Initiate Vulnerable Conversations
Share something personal or admit to a mistake in a safe environment. Lean into the discomfort of opening up—it often leads to stronger, more authentic connections. - Stop Constant Doing
The next time you’re at a stoplight, in the grocery line, or sitting at home and feeling antsy, resist the temptation to pick up your phone, just be there. Don’t fill the space. Sit with the discomfort of NOT DOING. - Befriend Boredom
I take clients to art museums for some of our meetings. “I don’t do art; I find it boring” is often a response. We then shut off and resist. BE bored. Sit with boredom. It opens up our inner world and exposes unconscious thoughts that are dying to get our attention so we can grow, learn, and become healthier and more aware. - Step Out of Your Zone
Engage in activities outside your comfort zone, like public speaking, a creative workshop, or learning a new skill. Focus on the process of learning, not the outcome, to remove the fear of failure. - Seek Fresh Perspectives
Join discussions or groups that expose you to different viewpoints. Practice active listening, even when opinions differ from your own. Avoid simply trying to confirm what you already believe. - Name Your Fears
When fear arises, write down exactly what you’re afraid of. Naming it reduces its power. Then explore the worst-case scenario—and consider how likely it is to happen. - Practice Mindfulness
When you feel discomfort, pause and notice it without judgment. Breathing exercises or grounding techniques can help you stay present and reduce anxiety. - Collaborate on Risk-Taking
Shared accountability fosters psychological safety because you’re not going it alone. Find a trusted partner to practice with and check in on what you’re experiencing. - Frame Discomfort as Growth
Reframe discomfort as evidence that you’re learning and evolving. Remind yourself of past challenges you’ve overcome—proof that you can handle what’s ahead. - Implement a Reflection Practice
After challenging yourself, give yourself time to reflect, rest, and integrate what you’ve learned. Draw inspiration from psychologist and philosopher John Dewey: “We do not learn from experience; we learn from reflecting on experience.”
Discomfort doesn’t have to overwhelm—it can spark transformation when met with intention, awareness, and support. By embracing challenges and viewing failure as learning, we build resilience to face uncertainty. Growth isn’t about leaps; it’s about steady, daily steps.
